Wednesday
5th July
10.30am Wednesdays
match is a late 4.00 PM start at Braunton so plenty of time to get ready
for the game. Fines meeting is getting later and later as people start to feel
the effects of the late nights. Adey was fined for having the whole
contents of the Torquay United club shop on tour with him. He complained at
the hotel because they only had metal coat hangers and they these would ruin
the cut of his football shirts. It appears the only shirt that was not
something from the Torquay shop was a
.Tiverton United shirt! Still
someone has to keep these clubs going and Adey probably spends enough
money on them to be the chief sponsor. Hilly was fined for insisting
that he was unbeaten as a captain even though the game was called off.
Wednesday 5th July
11.30am Never one to
miss a retail opportunity DD started taking orders for Ducklings
leisure wear such as shirts and baseball caps.. Must be missing the CO-OP since his retirement. Reggie
demonstrated a highly commendable level of colour blindness by asking what colour his yellow shirt was.
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Wednesday 5th July
4.30pm We actually
got to play today. This got off to a great start with the Abbott brothers
running a short single to the
wicket keeper and Abbott senior being run out by half the length of the
pitch. Big fine coming up. Abbott junior made up for the cock up by showing he
can bat a little bit, hitting some mighty drives.
With a respectable total on the
board in the 35 over game, Ducklings were looking at a comfortable win.
Unfortunately, no one told Braunton and one Braunton player decided to slog CLT over the pavilion with
alarming regularity. Not only did Ducklings lose the game but also friction
ensued with two camps arguing over whether Moods captain for the day was
just incompetent in bowling 'CLT' with a short leg side boundary, while the
other camp suspected a stitch up of the bowler. General feeling was the
former.
Wednesday 5th July 11.30pm Skins
and Boncey decided to have an all night drinking spree. Tony the hotel
owner eventually nodded off in the bar at about 3.30 AM so they carried on
helping themselves from the bar leaving a written tally for Tony when he woke
up. At 6.00 AM having successfully seen the night through they decided to get
Reggie out of bed and took him for a walk. What Reggie thought of
this is not recorded.
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Thursday 6th July 2.30pm
Bideford! 'Adey
lasted two balls today before he said "F**K". He never swears at
the
batsman, just himself for getting hit for boundaries. Bideford had
a young South African guy playing for them who induced Adey to swear
rather more than normal. Lads christened him Roger
Mellie after the
character in the Viz comic Bit lost this one, as
most of the Ducklings had never read Viz. Adey is so passionate about his
sport that he really cares if he is playing badly hence the swearing. Off the
pitch, nicest bloke you could ever meet; on the pitch, "complete tosser"
according to Albey.
Even Adey had to applaud one shot the South
African guy hit a classical off drive that just fizzed over the turf hit with
perfect timing. No one moved after he hit it, although everyone thought how long
an afternoon it would be if he carried on like that. He got himself out to a
stupid shot eventually and the Bideford innings kind of fizzled out with 'Adey'
hustling their batsmen out. One poor lad received a rap on the knuckles
with a lifter off a length first ball, fenced at the next three then had
all his poles flattened with the fifth ball. End of game for him,
"thanks for coming mate". In reply
Ducklings got off to a great start with Hilly getting to 46 before
collapsing like he had been shot and retiring hurt with a pulled fetlock. More
like retiring hurt before he had to buy a jug for the 50. When
he was eventually sent back in, he hit a two then a six next ball. Everyone clapped his
fifty then he was bowled next ball.
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Thursday 6th July 5.30pm Amazing the
game had finished at all. A sea mist had swept over the
ground during the second innings and it
looked like not only the game would be
abandoned and the rescue services would be needed to find some of the players. 'DD'
especially would feel the cold at his age. However the fog disappeared as quickly as it arrived and the game carried on
through it.
Thursday 6th July 6.30pm Bloggy
will be heavily fined in the morning for disputing the umpires decision to
give him out caught behind. He moaned all the way back to the pavilion, in the
pavilion and after the game as well. With nine needed to win off the last over, Andy
and Boncey scrambled two singles. Off the penultimate ball, Andy
hit
a six to level the scores. No one had bothered to work out what would happen if
the scores finished level in the 40 overs a side match. Some people thought that
by blocking the ball, Ducklings would win. However rather than risking a single
as Boncey had a bad back, Andy settled all arguments by hitting the final
ball for six. Murray, umpiring, congratulated the Bideford skipper as they
were walking off for tossing the ball up to get a positive result. "F**K
off Murray" he responded, after seeing two attempted yorkers dispatched
back over his head. This was some justice for Andy after the same Bideford
skipper had stitched him up with a 40 over game a couple of years before when
the Indian professional they had playing had slaughtered a weak Ducklings
attack.
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Thursday 6th July 11.10pm
Thursday night
is nightclub night in Bideford and
some of the younger tourists, 'Abbott Junior', 'Radar', 'Albey', 'Adey'
plus some adult supervision, Andy, went to Stallone's for a rave or whatever you are
supposed to do in nightclubs.
The barmaid from the hotel had recommended it as
the best place to go, but managed to studiously ignore the Ducklings after she
turned up from work. (Cant blame her really, she has to live down there).
More bizarre was seeing the people who had just served you dinner in the local
curry house or served you burgers giving it plenty on the dance floor. Still
after serving drunken tourists all evening then I suppose they deserve the one
place where you can get a late drink.
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Friday 7th July
Friday 7th July 1.00pm
Bideford. Newspaper advert in the morning talked about a new
Internet caf้ in the town, which had been opened by an ex bunny
girl/comedienne from Los Angeles. She had redecorated an old traditional pub
and put in a good food menu together with stripped pine furniture and a computer
in the corner. Nice place. Much better than when it was a pub.
The net-headed
members of Ducklings demonstrated to the less technically aware that 'Murray'
could now been seen in topless glory by anyone with an Internet connection.
Woz then set this image as the computers wallpaper image and left
Moods and Boncey to face the wrath of the bar owner. Apparently she
did not know how to remove the image, although this is very mild compared to
what some pizza eating tech head could do to her PC.
Friday 7th July 1.10pm The forgotten
tourist returned. Brando hardly seen all week had a rum and coke last
night and declared himself available to play at Victoria Park. Not fit, but
available to play. He has definitely been getting better over the last couple of
days as his clothes have been getting more and more bad taste. How anyone can
wear shorts, shirt and hat with at least 10 colours in each and not make
anything match is a true gift but at least he had recovered enough to play.
Early departures, injuries and hangovers meant that Statto from
North Devon was drafted in to play and joined in the spirit of touring by
getting a duck. Although this was a brave attempt to win the duck, he was
disqualified on the grounds that he was not available for other Ducklings
fixtures this season. Moods was shamefully absent for most of the game
which considering he has two look-alikes playing for the opposition showed scant
respect for his brothers. As he turned up for the last hour of the game
there is at least a suspicion that he may not have been in a fit state to
umpire, confirmed by a quick LBW decision.
Friday 7th July 7.40pm In
the middle
the Ducklings despite only getting 164 on a slow pitch, fought back strongly and
in a close finish, the Ducklings finished victorious. 'Brando' now in fine form
and recovered from the flu was ready for a serious night of drinking some of the
black stuff. However he had to find someone not going home to share the
evening with him. 'Bloggy' solved that one by ringing his wife to say he
would be home that evening after all only to be told that she was going out and
would not leave the key under the mat so he might as well stay. As another
casualty of a pulled fetlock he was happy to stay but a lack of hotel rooms
caused some anxiety. For all we know he is still down there looking for a
room.
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Friday 7th July 9.00pm End
of tour.
Two wins, two defeats, one abandoned. Home now for most
people to play League games for their clubs. Back again next year for more of
the same.
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