“Hello”
“Yes that’s me”
“It is £135 for a single, £160 for a double, yes that’s right”
“I can be there next week, I am down in Einstow in Devon at the moment”

(Here you can substitute the name of the cricketing venue depending on the day of the week as long as you get the day wrong and the name of the place wrong)

“Yes good quality, top of the range”
“Thank you, bye.. bye… bye".

This is the just-beds selling school. His bloody phone never stopped ringing and the one sheet of paper he carried round with him all week got fuller and fuller with random names and phone numbers on it. God knows how he manages to keep track of who phoned and where he was supposed to be the next week. By Wednesday we all knew the script off pat. Stormin' Norman was now the “Bed Man”.

After fines the Ducklings Golf competition was played at Westward Ho! A full 18 holes, none of them longer than 30 feet. This is otherwise known as the putting lottery proved by the fact that Murray got two holes in one and finished with a highly credible 41. It must have taken a lot out of his adrenalin bank as he needed to order a coffee in the nearest bar afterwards and shunned a beer. This was compounded when the golfers all sat in the bar eating ice  creams and not drinking.

Sheelagh and Hilly went shopping in the new Atlantic Shopping Centre. The fact that Steve kept insisting to Sheelagh that she might like to go shopping to buy some stuff for herself was very suspicious and his motives became clear when he came back with armfuls of stuff and she came back with just one small bag. However we all know that a man needs an excuse to go shopping.

On the field, the long-standing nature of the Ducklings has been cemented by the provision of caps for the players (at their own expense of course). 10 out of the 11 players on the field that day sported Ducklings caps, except the skipper Clive who had “lost his”. Clive was late on tour this year but was captain for the day. He had finally traded in his old Rover Coupe for a new smart Peugeot Cabriolet and was showing it off. Despite his car being obviously pink and only really suitable as a hairdressers car, he insisted it was "Egyptian Red" and would not hear another word on the subject. His day was made worse by the fact that he got a duck and was gleefully presented with the duck by Boncey at the pavilion steps. After being presented with the Duck, he then of course lost it.

Progress had been slow on the field for Braunton and it looked as if they were only going to set a small score but they put on 100 runs in the last half hour to close on 200 at tea and this proved too much for the Ducklings who had to settle for a draw.